The fun and frolics of internet dating.

So, my ex was an arse as you all know and I decided that I was not going to sit around moping my life away but that I was going get myself out there and have some fun.  Or at least poke my head round the door and see what fun there was to be had.  So I joined a free dating website.  I can hear you now, a mixture of responses; It's dangerous, They are all weirdos, My friend met her husband on one of those, I had a great time doing that.  All of these statements are true but I figured if I chose wisely and then stayed sensible, everything would be OK.

So lets tackle that first statement, it's dangerous.  Of course it's potentially dangerous, I know nothing about any of the people I meet on these sites but how many of us meet our partners in a club or a bar?  Do we know anything about them when we're dancing away or locking lips?  No.  I had a friend who met a man through mutual friends, they were a wonderfully loved up and happy couple until the day they married.  The day the door shut behind them on their wedding night he knocked the crap out of her because she was now his property.  She had a long time to get to know him and it was still dangerous for her.  As long as you choose your dates carefully (these days facebook helps because you can see their interactions with their friends before hand) and you meet in a safe place, you should be fine.

The second statement, that they are all weirdos cannot of course be 100% true because not everyone out there looking for love is broken or crazy.  They are just shy or like me no longer fancy meeting someone in a bar or club when they are ten sheets to the wind and can't walk straight.  Again, it's the correct choice.  You can't really tell by how a person looks, especially not in a photo but if (for example) they are posing with flexed muscles you can probably guess they have ego/ vanity issues and if you don't want that, you avoid it.  Get to know them a little first.  I have had two dates so far.  The first one I chatted to a bit via text and on the phone a couple of times before we met up and the second I texted on and off for two weeks.

The other two statements are positive and I think that most people these days know of an internet romance success story of some sort.

So my dates.  The first was a guy who wasn't my type to look at and although I wouldn't have said he was unattractive, he did nothing for me.  However, I am trying to look beyond types and anything shallow and he seemed nice so I gave him ago.  As it was we got on OK but there was no spark for either of us so we just ended up getting drunk and having a good night out.  So it may not have been a romantic success story but it was a success in the fact that I was safe, I had fun and met someone who was a gentleman.   My second date was slightly different.  We had been chatting and texting and I knew he wasn't looking for anything serious because he doesn't have the time to put in the required commitment needed in a relationship but I decided that it was probably about time I just had some fun and stopped looking so hard for love. He was also another really lovely guy but to cut a long story short we both decided we couldn't do the casual thing and he wasn't interested in anything else.  For me, I may have thought he was extremely handsome but we didn't have anywhere near enough in common for anything serious.

So have I been put off?  Not so far.  I may not have met Mr Right yet but I've been shown that there are still some decent guys left out there and that in itself is a huge step forward.  Maybe date number three (watch this space) will be more successful.  It's my lucky number after all.

Finding good friends in unexpected places

We all have good friends.  Some we met at school or at college and still hold them dear.  Others we've met through our work or acquaintances, but sometimes we find and connect with someone in the most unlikely places or in unusual circumstances.

I have found someone that I'm proud to class as one of my best friends in a unexpected place and they are one of the most caring, supportive and wonderful people I have ever had the pleasure to know, yet I've never met them.  You see, I found this friend on Twitter.  Now there are a few others on Twitter that I would also class as friends; Fun, smart and witty people who have also been supportive but this particular, great friend is something else entirely.  They have been with me (at least in spirit and lots of messages) every step of the way in my recent stress and heartbreak.  This lovely person (like many of my Tweeps) lives in a different time-zone, so they were also able to support me when I was breaking my heart at 4am, when otherwise I'd have been left alone with my thoughts and my pain.  They were completely selfless, giving up time for me when they should really have been doing something else and they didn't once complain.  That is a true friend and I feel lucky,  honoured even, to have found them.

This is my way of saying thank you.  You know who you are x

Damn, it's been a while

So it's been quite a while since I posted anything.  However, as much as I love to share my views with the general public in the cyber world, I haven't been well.  As you've read in a previous post, I suffer with my nerves and stress.  When it got so bad that my employers suggested that I take some time off,  I did.  I went back on my medication and started to get myself together.  During this time my other half decided he would go out one night and fuck some young thing in our car.  Let's just say that he isn't my other half any more and this time there will be no change of heart.  I've moved out, back into the warm and healing environment of my family.

I've summed this up because I don't want to dwell on the crap of recent weeks.  I don't really want to go back over it so why the hell would you?  I just wanted to let you know that I'm back.

I wont be continuing with my X Factor blog, simply because all my high hopes for the show this year have fallen through. There no longer remains a single act in the show that I've supported from the start but that aside, the mimed 'live' group performances, the fake animosity of the judges and the general lack of energy of the show, means that I no-longer want to waste my time on it.

I have no idea what I will write about.  Probably my growing sexual frustration, the scary situation of being back on the market but without a doubt, how the support of good friends and family can see you through a hard time.

It's time to boogie on down

NB This has not been proof read or spell checked.  Wanted it out there before the results started.  I'll tidy it up another time.

Hey there X Factor fans!  This week brought us another exciting instalment of performances and arguments.  Before I get down to dissecting the acts and voicing my opinion I just wanted to say that I don't read the newspaper or watch the news so this is why I don't comment on any of these things.  I am interested in the competition alone.

This week was Dance Floor Classics night and the first thing I noticed is that in this genre I didn't know a lot of the songs, so if I've got them wrong please let me know and I shall correct them.  It is also a double elimination week so the pressure really is on ,especially as Dermot said, this was a ballad free zone which left several of our contestants firmly out of the comfort zone.

It looks like Dermot's little routine with the ladies is becoming a regular feature and I like that very much.  Dermot O'Leary is probably the most huggable man on TV and I've often wanted to audition just so I can get one!

It was good to have the normal judges back, though I have to say either money buys really amazing health care or Kelly was not as ill as she made out.  I loved the way that Mr B made a snide little dot.com comment that indicated he had been less than happy having Alexandra as a temporary judge last week.   It was also good to have them squabbling again, especially Louis and Mr B.  Absolutely hilarious!  I know it's all put on but that's what makes it so funny.. a bit like American wrestling!

The Girls

This week Janet took control of her song choice and the way her performance was to play out but all in all I don't think it paid off.  Don't get me wrong, Janet was as precise as ever and I really enjoyed it but the song she chose; Jackson Fives 'I want you back' just wasn't her.  I LOVE ballad Janet, sweet and hauntingly beautiful Janet.  Upbeat, and prancing around like Hannah Montana is not for me!  At least Tulisa and Mr B have realised the 'predictability' of Janet is what makes her great.

Kelly said that the B in Misha B stands for serious business.  I have to say that of all the contestants in the years competition Misha is one I had no doubts about meaning business!  This week she covered a Tina Turner track 'Rolling on the river'.  It was only a matter of time really before a Tina Turner song found it's way into her repitioire!  Personally this song just doesn't do it for me but as always Misha's performance was flawless.  I have to say I loved her more dressed down look this week, her hair was gorgeous.  Can we have more of the softer Misha please?

The Groups

The Risk were great this week, they are finally back on the map so to speak.  This was echoed by the judges comments as well.  For the first week running they started off strong and stayed that way until the end and Derry's rap was good too.  I'm not sure if Mr B is right about Charlie being the lead singer or not.  It's still early and it could just be that he's the first to become confident with his performances.  They looked good, they performed well on solo vocals as well as their harmonies.  The new line up is certainly paying off!  It certainly made me giggle when Kelly said they had to surpass all other boy bands while she was sat next to Mr B.

Little Mix
After their utterly amazing performance last week I was disappointed that they've gone back to their previous standard and style.  As before, I don't think it's bad, I just don't feel it myself even though the audience and judges clearly did.  I'm afraid they hit it perfectly for me on Halloween week and I now know they CAN do it.  'Please Don't Stop The Music' by Rihanna was still a technically good performance, although they managed to sound out of tune with the music it at the beginning without sounding out of tune with themselves.

The Over 25's

Oh Johnny, I love you!  Seriously, this guy makes me smile so much I think my face might break.  He is becoming more and more comfortable every week and Louis is right, he deserves to believe in yourself.  Although I thought that this weeks song choices;  'Hung up' by Madonna and 'You Spin me round (like a record) by Dead or Alive did, yet again, narrow his range and not do him full justice I don't believe Mr B needed to be quite so serious.  Gary it's DANCE music, you can't take dance music seriously!  It's for getting drunk and dancing too.  The most it's supposed to inspire is silliness, a little fooling around and maybe some romance.

It wasn't her the most polished that I've seen her but as ever Kitty's performance didn't fail to satisfy.  I love the song choice because it is a great song and Kitty did it justice.  Madonna's 'Like a Prayer'  You could see her influence on the other aspects of the performance too, she seems to able to take Louis's somewhat cheesy ideas and turn them into show stoppers!  Tulisa is right in saying she'd be able to perform concerts well.  I don't think Kitty held back in this performance.  What I think is more likely is that, as Mr B pointed out she isn't the greatest dancer, so she was dividing her focus too much. Still one of my faves.

All that is left is The Boys

Let's get it out of the way shall we?  Frankie was singing 'Tonight's Gonna Be a Good Night'.  Oh Frankie.  He was out of tune, he was completely lacklustre and bland.  The lad was back to his run of the mill (these songs all sound the same) self and this week the judges didn't hold back.  Louis was the rudest telling he'd never be a rock star and that the only thing big about him was his hair. Ouch!  This set off much bickering amongst the judges that entertained me far more than Frankies performance had.  Despite disagreeing with Louis Mr B did apologise, saying that he had made a mistake with the song choice.  Hang on, isn't that the closest a judge can get to say 'you were rubbish'?

Marcus, ah how you are growing!  This weeks song 'Reet Petite' by Jackie Wilson was a brilliant.  He suited the music in every way.  Vocals were spot on and check out his moves, all in all he performed really well!  Mr B said this was the greatest performance so far in the season, I'm not sure about that but he was very good.  Nice to see him be more relaxed.  It improves his game no end and impressed the judges in the long run.

Well Craig showed last night that he is truly flexible and can perform to the same high standard even when he is given a song that is miles away from what is his normal style.  It was a good song choice 'Heaven' and I liked that it still had some slow sections that allowed him to play to his strengths.  His vocals were energetic and engaging which what this song needed.  Great stuff.  The judges sang his praises and the crowd were just delighted with him.  Keep doing what your doing!

Over all it was a little up and down for me but still great.  Who do I predict will be in the bottom two?  To be honest I can't call it.  I'd like Frankie to be there of course but I have no way the dice will fall tonight.

Is this X Factor or surprise surprise?

Well, Sunday was another shocker wasn't it?  I was right about Sophie being in the bottom two but I'd never have thought that Misha would have received so few votes. However I should have realised that the bullying accusations of last week would have had an impact on her popularity,  especially as the press had gone to town on it.  Because I didn't expect Misha to be in the sing off I had a glorious moment of joy when it was Sophie, Frankie and Misha left on the stage.  I honestly thought the hordes of teenage girls had come to their senses and had found someone else to foist their hormones on but sadly not.  My moment of joy turned into a crushing disappointment as he continues on to be in next weeks show.  Of course as soon as we knew who was going to be singing their little hearts out to battle to stay in the competition it was a foregone conclusion.  Louis had been rude to Sophie in the live show and the others hadn't exactly been glowingly supportive so we all knew she was going home.  I'm surprised they even put her through the stress of asking her to sing again as the poor girl clearly knew the decision that was going to be made.  The judges did at least attempt to act indecisive but it made no difference.  Why they bothered to get Kelly on the phone when she's so ill (her voice sounds better than mine and I just have a cold, not a rare throat infection) I have no idea.  The other judges would have sent Sophie packing without he input.  I smell a rather fishy rat.

I'm really starting to look forward to each show now as the standard this year really is very good.  Until next time.

It's fright night and things are hotting up

It's been quite an eventful time for the X Factor team this week with Kelly supposedly falling out with Tulisa and now having a serious throat infection that has stopped her from judging.  Luckily Alexandra Burke stepped in to hold the fort and did a pretty good job in her usual feisty, over-the-top way.  Also, Ashley from the Risk decided his destiny didn't lie in a boy band which resulted in him leaving the band and the show.  I have to say, I'm quite impressed with him for not losing sight of what he really wants from his life rather than getting seduced by the bright lights.  Stepping into his shoes is Ashford who was previously in Nu Vibe, this lad must be thanking his lucky stars as this is the second time he's being given a life line..  Lastly the Rhythmix are now called Little Mix which I actually prefer.  This is because there is already a music charity called Rhythmix and quite rightly they wanted to retain the name completely for themselves.  

The Over 25's

I'm starting with over 25's because they are the only category in which I like all the acts and they were fantastic last night.  Kitty looked fabulous and daring in her routine that accompanied her rendition of 'Sweet Dreams' by the Eurhythmics.  Vocally, it wasn't my favourite performance but I still loved it and Louis is right, she's more burlesque than cabaret, which I love.  Don't change like people have suggested Kitty, stay just who you are because that's who we love!  

As for Johnny, wow.  I was flabbergasted!  I've always supported Johnny but I didn't realise that he could sing like that!  Louis should be pelted with fruit for not giving him an opportunity to sing like this before.  It was an incredibly amazing cover of Billie Holiday's jazz classic 'That old devil called love'.  Johnny so deserved his hug and kiss from Mr B who was spot on when he said that Johnny isn't a novelty act, he's a real singer.  

The girls

I think the judges were far to harsh on Sophie this week.  I actually thought this was the best performance that she had given since the live shows started.  It was a good song choice, 'Bang Bang (my baby shot me down)' made famous by Nancy Sinatra which I think suited her voice because it put a more unique twist to it.  I thought she really gave it some real power and had far better control over her dynamics this week, plus she looked fantastic.  However I do agree with Mr B that she needs to start singing something other than ballads now.  I want to see what else she can do!  Boo hiss to Louis and his nasty comments about her sounding like a secretary who sings in her spare time, uncalled for Mr Walsh.  Uncalled for.

Misha as ever was polished and perfect, the ready made artist who seems like she's been doing it for years.  As you know, I am not impressed generally because although she is incredibly good she isn't original but this week I really enjoyed her performance of 'Tainted Love'.  It seemed to me that for the first time she brought some of herself into her performance and not just the person she presents to the world. I really enjoyed the dramatic addition at the heart of her act.  The production team are still making her look like Grace Jones but as it was a Halloween special I shall let them off.

Wasn't it lovely to hear Janet sing in a slightly different style?  I know what Gary means about her being predictable and I like that, except this week was not predictable and her version of 'Every Breath you take' by The Police was surprising and beautifully haunting.  It wasn't her strongest performance and I think this is due to her change in style but it was still brilliant.  I adored Janet's look and the whole Miss Haversham theme from Great Expectations too.

The Boys

Mr B's work with Marcus to help him feel more confident paid dividends when it came to last nights performance and he has finally made it to the party with a great dance routine!  Excellent song choice with 'Superstitious' by Steve Wonder and Marcus sang it very well, the sound and flow of his voice is far better without the tension.  I'm now excited and looking forward to seeing what he can deliver in the coming weeks.

Frankies VT this week was pretty much a marketing campaign to get it firmly entrenched in to the teenage girls mind that he is a bad boy because despite his performance this week being better, it's his image that will win him his votes.  'Should I stay or should I go' was a good but predictable song choice for Frankie.  He did sing it fairly well and he managed to sound less like a broken record than normal but it seemed a little forced to me.  Well done to Alexandra for saying what I was thinking, he really does lack the vocal range to be a good singer.  

Now to the fantastic Craig.  This guy truly has a wonderful voice and I can actually picture myself buying his albums.  As a rare vocalist capable of doing justice to an Adele song, Craig sang 'Set fire to the rain' and he carried it of with finesse, passion and immense energy.  It was lovely to get to hear him sing something so up-beat.  It truly was fantastic.  I have no idea what Tulisa was going on about, the only way that Craig is predictable is that he always delivers and constantly improves.

The Groups

I was intrigued to see whether there would be any noticeable difference in the Risk now that the line-up has changed but to be honest I couldn't tell vocally.  They do seem tighter and more together within themselves however and I think next week we may see a positive change as they seem to fit better now personality wise.  Their performance of Michael Jackson's 'Thriller' was pretty good but they are starting to fall into a pattern.  They are always weak at the beginning and then improve as they go, sounding great just in time to finish.  This is mostly down to lack of confidence so hopefully now the band has changed it can settle and grow.

I was seriously impressed by the Little Mix last night.  As you know, I've recognised their talent but they've failed to really fire me up due to their style.  Yesterday though that changed.  I thought their version of 'Supernatural' by Katy Perry was absolutely fantastic.  The harmonies were strong, their individual voices came through clearly and the routine was incredible.  Did you see the fantastic make up?  I hope they keep up this standard and keep mixing their styles up.  I'm starting to see the sort of results I had expected from Tulisa from the start and I think I've probably been a little too quick to judge.  I will watch with interest over the next few weeks.

All in all It was an extremely impressive show this week.  Everyone has upped their game and worked their socks off and I don't think anyone deserves to be in the bottom two this week except Frankie who even with the improvements, still annoys the hell out of me and I just don't think he's good enough for this competition.  He won't be in the bottom two though because horny teenage girls around the country will have repetitive strain injury in their fingers from prolonged phone voting.  If I had to guess who the voting public will put in the sing off tonight I would say Sophie and Kitty, even though I love both these acts and wouldn't want either of them to go home.  What do you think?

Who needs enemies...

Have you ever been in a position where you needed help, been offered it by a friend then lived to regret it?

A few years ago I broke up with my then fiancé which left me looking for somewhere new to live.  As you know from previous posts I don't work many hours so I have a minimalist budget on which to survive.  I had the choice of moving in with my aunt and uncle to live like a teenager in a small room where most of my stuff would need to be stored in a garden shed due to lack of space or find a room (hopefully larger) to rent in a shared house.  While I'd lived with my fiancé I had formed several friendships with my neighbours and while I was discussing my dilemma with one of them she suggested I move in to one of her spare rooms. Her children were grown up, moving out and leaving her with plenty of space plus she could do with the extra money.  This was the perfect solution to my problems.  The room offered me my needed space,  independence and was affordable.  Best of all it meant I didn't need to leave an area where I felt at home.

This friend is a very no-nonsense type of lady who has her own set of ideas and principles by which to live her life and for the first few months she was amazingly supportive and helpful considering my vulnerable state.  As time went by however  I grew more confident again, beginning to do more than just work or sit in my room watching movies and I began to feel that my friend was interfering.  Some advice and input was invaluable but the rest was  her passing judgement on my life.  Also around this time I felt she started to take me for granted.  I already cleaned up after myself in the kitchen and hoovered my room every week which is as it should be but then she asked me to extend my hoovering, then clean the bathroom and mop floors.  Eventually I was cleaning everything except her living and bedroom.  I didn't mind too much, after all I was staying there pretty damn cheaply but then she started going off for weeks at a time and I was expected to house sit her dogs.  Even this I would have accepted if I'd not long started dating the man I'm with now and my friend would not let 'strange men' in her house (she berated me for him even knowing where I lived) and this made things really awkward.

In the end, my man and I fell in love and more hastily than we would without her interference, decided to move in together so that we could actually spend time together.  Of course, my friend was completely unimpressed declaring us a 'car accident happening in slow motion' then requested two months rent in notice.  I did this because despite everything she had been very good to me and I wanted to remain on friendly terms.   Since then however she is always rude to my partner, despite the fact that we have been together for eighteen months now, by completely ignoring him when we meet socially.  When I arrange to see her, she constantly picks apart my life and points out any flaws before declaring how she thinks I should be.  It's so bad that I hardly use Facebook any more because she passes judgement or ridicules EVERYTHING I put.  I could just remove her but I'm too spineless because then she'll text or call me to explain why and I'm too nice to just ignore her until she gets the message.  How do you explain to someone that their input, judgement and interference in your life has gone too far when you know that despite everything, they helped you when you were down?

Well I didn't see that coming.

So the results for week three are in and it appears that I was right about Sami being in the bottom two this week.    I never dreamed however that Kitty would be joining her.  What about my other predictions?  At the beginning of the show, before any of the results were announced, Dermot stated that there was very little in it for those acts with the lowest votes and therefore at risk of being in the bottom two.  I can't help wondering if either Marcus or Rhythmix just scraped through by the skin of their teeth.  I know the acts and judges have a rough idea of how the vote is going before the show goes live and Tulisa did look rather nervous but that could have been just because she has already lost one act.  I guess we will never know.

If I'm honest I was a little shocked about Kitty being in the bottom two.  After sailing clear last week and two solid performances under her belt, I honestly thought that the voting public had gotten over their shallow reaction to Kitty's differences and were now judging her on her talent alone.  Obviously I believe far too easily in the goodness within other people.  I wasn't surprised to see Frankie escape this week though as Mr B played it cool by cranking up the bad boy image which was all the boost his host of giggling girl fans needed to get him enough votes.  Poor hormone addled things just desperate to have their names added to his already crowded butt-cheeks.  Maybe X Factor could be sponsored by a NHS safe sex campaign?

I have to say, Louis did not seem genuinely upset by the situation although he did manage to feign a little indecision when it came to the deciding vote but I doubt he'd get any job offers in acting.  This made me question whether he could have purposefully been giving Sami poor song choices in the hope he'd gain Kitty more votes?  After all, she wasn't his original choice for the live shows, could she have been a scape goat all along?  A possibility, but I think it's unlikely that Louis is capable of a) being that deceitful and manipulative b) thinking that far a head.

As for Kitty and Sami, I felt so sorry for them.  Being from the same category must have made it even harder to go head to head but sing off they did and both of them gave stunning performances.  Sami opting for Aretha Franklin's 'You make me feel (like a natural woman)' and Kitty for Lady Gaga's 'Edge of glory'.  At the end of the day however I do believe the right decision was made.  Despite both the lovely ladies being in my top five acts of the show, I was relieved that Kitty is the one who has survived for at least another week.  Sami started out as my favourite of the over 25's and I thought she was great right from her first audition but Kitty's performances in the last two weeks have blown me away, stealing my favour.  Was this change in my perception honestly down to song choice?  Or was it because Sami had already given us her all, while Kitty is finally starting to shine?

Let's rock!

Last night was the third week of the X Factor live shows and it was rock night.  Yet somehow Tulisa managed to misread the in house memo, interpreting it as 'do whatever you like as long as you add rock riffs, electric guitar and get your acts to jump up and down' night.  She seemed really unhappy that she was the only one who hadn't quite got it right.  Has she never watched X Factor before?  Every year they have rock night and every time the acts perform well known rock songs in the best way they know how.

The groups

I didn't like the song that was chosen for the Rythmix, no amount of lead guitar can make Kesha's 'Tik Tock' sound like a rock song.  Also, at no point ever, should there be any rap in a rock song.  Some of the harmonies were great but aside from that?  It was sloppy and normally I think they are pretty good even if their music style doesn't do it for me personally.  Also the look was wrong this week, previously it's worked well but this time they looked like a bunch of teenie-boppers (am I showing my age?).

The Risk had a far better song choice, still not rock but far closer in style with Gnarls Barkley's 'Crazy'.  I didn't feel that the solo sections of their performance were very good but they did pull together well in the chorus and as the song went on they seemed to warm up, improving no end.  However slow starting perfomances would not be acceptable from a professional group and it didn't come close in quality to the original.  All in all, these guys were the stronger of Tulisa's groups this week and that's with Ashley being ill.  Another far from great week for Tulisa, in my opinion, although the other judges seemed fairly impressed by what they saw.

Louis Walsh was being even more annoying than normal last night, constantly droning on about whether the acts were in their comfort zone or not.  I think it has been safely established over the years that all acts will, at some point or other and usually more than once, be out of their comfort zone during the span of the competition.  He also seems to have a developed a new habit of almost climbing over the judging desk when he's excited.  Seriously, this year Louis is doing his 'smug little leprechaun' impression far too well.

The over twenty fives's

This week it was poor Sami that he really let down.  Despite the feed back from the other judges last week and Sami's own, huge reservations about the song he'd chosen this week, he decided to ignore everyone and still give her Cher's 'If I could turn back time'.  Last week she was classed as a cruise ship singer by Mr Barlow which I felt was a little unfair, this week though thanks to Louis' eccentricities, that would have been an understatement.  At best she was the queen of karaoke as both Mr B and Tulisa pointed out.  It's such a shame and totally unfair.  Sami has got a great voice but Louis is stopping her from shining.

For Kitty and Johnny however he got things just right.

I reckon Louis is in his element with Kitty, she's a born entertainer and for once she is an act that can actually out perform Louis' penchant for gimmicky props & stage directions.  Her song this week was just perfect for her; Paul McCartney & the Wings 'Live and let die'.  I absolutely loved it, she really did rock it.  Even Mr B was supportive, completely back tracking on what he'd said earlier about Louis only getting rubbish acts and making them worse.  Kelly seemed to think Kitty was 'forcing' her talent rather than being natural.  What cutesy Kelly fails to see is that an intense person like Kitty is not going to sound natural in that way she would expect.  She's going to sound, well, intense.

Johnny did himself proud.   I'm so happy that Louis left the gimmicks alone and let us listen to him sing last night.  An utterly excellent song choice, 'I believe in a thing called love' by The Darkness.  Perfectly set to enable him to make use of his unusual but fantastic voice and he carried it off with ease.  Did you hear the audience cheer?  He must be over the moon, even Mr B enjoyed it.

I'm beginning to think Mr B's extremely harsh comments to Sami were intended to minimise the damage this category could potentially do to his own.  I think this is the strongest hand Louis has had to play with this category ever.  No wonder he's so chipper!

Kelly was being  as cartoon like as ever yesterday and I've noticed that this year she is the judge that is mostly playing it safe.  No really harsh comments, sticking up for others when comments are made.  Will this continue or will she wheel out the big guns as the competition hots up?  I love the way she tells the act's that 'they killed it' as far as I am aware, over here that still means you ruined something.  Makes me laugh every time.

The girls

Sophie has made some improvements from last week.  She sang Bonjovi's 'Living on a Prayer' turning it into a gorgeous ballad.  The arrangement was good and she paced herself well but she was a little shaky at the start, whether this was down to nerves or bad technique, I don't know.  I agree with Mr B that her emotional connection with the song was far better this week, that you could feel it far more but I still think she could have given it a lot more oomph at the end. All in all, it was an OK performance but I know that Sophie can do better.

Misha was as polished as ever.  A born show woman who totally rocked her song, which was 'Purple Rain' by Prince.  She is extremely talented and is performing at a standard you'd expect at the end, not the beginning of the competition.  However I stand by what I said last week, that we already have so many acts out there with a similar vibe or sound for me to get excited about her.  She might as well be a shorter, less skinny clone of Grace Jones.  As for the judges I wasn't impressed by the way they ganged up against her, live in front of millions of people.  I suspect she probably is a bit of a bully, but let's remember she's young and she's had to fight harder than most to feel like she has a place in the world, so have those types of confrontations away from the cameras and teach, rather than tell her that there are better ways to be.

This leaves Janet.  This lovely girl is still my favourite to win.  I admired the way she spoke to the journalists in her VT about not being willing to change who she is to win supporters, and why should she?  She's sweet, yet feisty with a stunningly beautiful voice that somehow adapts to everything she sings.  She could, as was suggested, have rocked her song 'Sweet Child of Mine' by Guns & Roses, more than she did but it wouldn't have been Janet.  As for Tulisa's criticisms both of Misha and Janet, I believe she's afraid of the competition they bring in force to her own acts. 

Now, Mr Barlow seemed rather confused last night.  Firstly he pretty much told Louis and his acts that they are all awful and a bunch of losers, then he praised and supported the same acts.  I suspect someone may have slipped something into one of the numerous cups of tea that he drinks.  This may also explain why he admitted to 'telling a lie' for Frankie and praising a rubbish performance last week.  He didn't lie, it's just in hindsight he's afraid he'll look bad for not seeing it was bloody awful and is covering himself.

The boys

Talking of Frankie he was marginally better this week.  He did try and modulate his voice, I didn't fall asleep and I recognised the song so he clearly worked hard this week.  Also 'Rocks' by Primal scream is a song that suits Frankie's persona well but I am still totally unimpressed.  What was Kelly thinking when she said she thought it was too rebellious for him, that there is an innocence to him?  The lad has the names of his sexual conquests tattooed on his back-side.  What on earth is innocent about that?  I would like to quote the wonderful Dom Joly on this, who on twitter last night wrote: 

No Dom you are not.  Unfortunately however, there are many people out there (mostly girls) who are just hoping Frankie has an enormous cock.

Marcus I was a little disappointed with, although his rendition of  'Are you gonna go my way' by Lenny Kravitz  improved with a second listening and I do consider it a good song choice for him.  I think that Marcus needs to relax, more than he did last night.  He needs to let go because at the moment you can hear the strain his inner tension is putting on his voice.  Hopefully Mr B is right and once he starts to believe in himself we will start to see what Marcus is really made of.

At last we come to Craig, my cheeky chappy.  An absolutely fantastic song choice here by Mr B with 'Stop crying your heart out' by Oasis.  Craig's rendition was so personal and perfect, a fabulous adaptation.  He started out soft, then built up the volume and passion with just the right timing.  Craig made this song sound even more incredible than the original and I was very impressed by the flexibility of his voice.  Brilliant.  Craig is now officially my number two to win.

So that's the end of week three.  Later tonight we will get to see the results and this week I'm not sure I can call the two weakest acts although my gut feeling tells me the bottom two will be Sami and either Marcus or Rhythmix but I'm guessing here.  We'll find out in a few hours time.

Love isn't rational, it's all about hard work.

If you've found your way here because you follow me on twitter, you may have noticed in the last few months that I have split up with my boyfriend three times.  I haven't done any of the splitting up.  It's all been my very lovely but unrealistic man.

Let me set the scene.  I am quite a strong character and typical of my star-sign, fairly bullish.  I can be blunt and to the point, I also prefer to banter about those little aspects in a relationship that can get you down before they really do get me down and I get truly pissed off.  My boyfriend, in contrast is a very calm and sweet individual who believes there should never be any issues within a relationship if you've found the right person.  Work should never be needed to maintain it and if harsh words are ever spoken then they must signify the end.

The first time he finished with me, he had convinced himself that I was unhappy and that I didn't love him any more because I'd been tired and a bit ratty.  Instead of talking to me and asking if I was OK or if I had any problems with our relationship he 'did us both a favour' and dumped me.  An hour later when he realised by my very tearful and upset reaction that he'd got it wrong, we got back together, claiming that he now got my bantering and understood it wasn't me being nasty/ rude/ discontent.

Six months later (six weeks ago) he finished it again.  This time (he said) because we didn't do everything together. Now if we did nothing together, I'd have said this was a valid argument but we're in two bands together, write music together, plus we share the social aspects of that.  I explained to him that many couples do very little together and that conversely, most couples feel that doing too much together is more of a risk to a relationship.  I spoke to some friends at work and one of them told me that her and her husband love each other dearly but spend no time together other than sharing meals and unwinding in front of the TV.  My partner also said that he felt trapped.  Again, if I was the sort of woman who put my foot down and never allowed him any space, any time alone, any chances to go and get completely wrecked with his friends I would understand but I don't.  I don't often go with him when he's going to drink a lot as I don't drink as much and end up getting annoyed with his behaviour but this isn't stopping him doing it.  On this occasion it took a week for him to realise that actually, he didn't do anything different as a singleton that he didn't do while part of a couple and he asked me to take him back.

This is the difficult bit.  At this stage I advised my boyfriend that if he felt like this again he MUST talk to me or think long and hard as there was no way I'd take him back a third time because all this wasn't fair on me to keep being messed around.  He agreed, he felt certain he'd got it out of his system and we would be fine, leaving me to start feeling secure again.

Last Saturday, he dumped me again.  This time stating I did nothing for him, showed him no respect and that I'd got worse in recent weeks.  Now admittedly I have let him do far more than his fair share about the house in the past but that has been mostly because I have been working while he has been studying a few days a week or been unemployed doing nothing except enjoying his hobbies.  So we were through, finished; Despite the fact that he had only just got a job and hadn't given it any time to see how more fairly things would be divided between us at home.  Despite the fact that for two of the five weeks we had been back together we had had a friend staying in our living room which gave us no time alone.  For at least another week of the five, I'd been ill AND in the last five days, given up smoking which would turned any woman into a snarling bitch.

Because of my promise to myself, this time I told all my relatives and friends.  Yet now the information from the above paragraph has sank into my man's head and he want's me to take him back. Again.  Now I should refuse point blank, being messed around like this isn't much fun but that's my head talking.  My heart tells me love isn't rational and that I'd be cutting of my nose off to spite my face if I walked away when there is the possibility of us fixing our relationship, which, when it works is bloody good.

So I'm removing the label of 'couple' from our relationship and instead I've replaced it with one that reads 'work in progress' and maybe this is the label all relationships should truly have.  I've told my partner that he needs to talk to me so I know what work I have to do.  He needs to let go of the idea that a relationship should be a walk in the park, all rosy with no harsh words and no work to be done because a good relationship is ALL about working together, constantly to make sure it is as sound and secure possible.

From on-line diaries to modern blogging

I'll be honest, I'm completely new to blogging.  Last time I was this active on the internet was in the late 90's and it was an on-line diary that I regularly contributed to.  On the surface, a blog and a diary may seem the same but there are some major differences.  For a start, back in the days of diary entries it was perfectly acceptable to be over emotional and complain in a full on woe-is-me way about your life.  People loved it, nurturing types thrived on giving advise and solace to the broken, lost souls.  If someone wrote that way in a blog post no-one would read it, at least not all the way through because in the blog world, it's seems fine to be discontent or unhappy as long as it is written as a rant, the content reasonably funny.  If someone is seen as being too emotional, it's assumed they must be begging for attention.  This is completely ironic because why would any of us use these sites, write about our points of view, if we didn't want just that little bit of attention?  It was also quite usual for someone to give a blow by blow account of their day and avid readers would each comment on a different aspect of the writers life as there was easily enough content for everyone to empathise with part of it.  Can you imagine us writing this way in our blogs?   Readers would move on to something more interesting well before they reached the thrilling tale of breakfast.  Don't get me wrong, there were many diary entries made by myself and others that would have sat perfectly well in the modern blog but anything that's truly emotional, aside from anger, just doesn't seem particularly acceptable.

Is this because the virtual, non face to face world has made us harsher, less human?  Or is it because the 90's were well documented as being a hypersensitive time?  After all this was the era that gave us the 'sensitive new age guy'.  Both concepts have merit but what is most likely, is that what we need, both from the reading and writing of such personal material, has evolved.  It's far better that we do not need the suffering of others to entertain ourselves and the modern blog is far more diverse in it's content and humour, providing something for everyone to empathise with, without revelling in others misery.  That said, have we gone too far?  Do we no-longer offer sympathy unless it is encased, hidden in humour?  Are we depriving those individuals who have no out-let for their sorrow in the real world, a chance to be heard?  I hope not.  What do you think?

While you are considering this, here are a couple of blogs that I enjoy empathising with;
The very smart and equally as funny  StayatHomeBabe
The extremely lovely but rant filled FutileRage

Could laziness ever be classed as an illness rather than a weakness?

If you're reading this post, you may consider the title to be a strange question to ask.  Surely if a person is lazy then it can be nothing but a weakness?  However I ask you to consider for a moment the way that the labels we give people have changed over the years. No-one is called unintelligent any longer, instead they are referred to as being dyslexic or having learning difficulties (the range is vast).  Rarely, unless the law is broken, are people classed as badly behaved, they have Attention Deficit Hyper-activity Disorder or emotional, social and behavioural difficulties.  Even the label for being plain old clumsy has changed, if you are particularly bad then you are likely to be suffering from dyspraxia.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not suggesting that these disabilities and difficulties are not genuine, they are.  I work with enough individuals every year to know this first hand yet we are very quick to label people with a more socially acceptable explanation.  Laziness however, doesn't seem to be something that we are willing to label or even explore further.  It may not be an illness, at least not a physical one but like many of these labels could it not be an illness or a disability of the mind for some individuals?

The reason I ask is that to other people I often come across as being lazy.  My house is always untidy and the dishes are rarely done.  While I realise that this in itself is not unusual, especially for people who are happy-go-lucky and are merely grabbing as much enjoyment as possible to cram into their lives, for me it goes deeper.  To start, I rarely go out of the house when I'm not working.  It's not that I'm an unsociable person or don't have any friends;  it's just so damned hard for me to find the motivation.  I seriously lack energy, so much so that I can even struggle to attend my weekly, two hour band practise.  That's not all;  I find it impossible to work a normal full-time, forty-eight weeks a year job.  Not because I slack when it comes to my duties, if anything I am a very dedicated, hard worker.  It is because the more hours I work, the more tired I get and the more tired I get, the more ill and stressed I become.  This generates a vicious circle and I end up with a terrible sick record which stops me being able to get another job or more hours in my existing one.  The doctors can find nothing physically wrong with me.

So could laziness, at least for some people be a form of mental illness?  I have discovered articles on the internet and in magazines about others who feel the way I do.  They have found that their lack of energy is caused by their stress levels.  Not by the normal variety of stress we all suffer from but irrational-react-to-absolutely-everything stress that causes adrenaline to be pumped constantly around the body, leaving it exhausted.  The use of Neural Linguistic Programming or Cognitive Behavioural Therapy have been successfully used to help re-train the brain back into normal responses.  So why can't I do that too?  Because, as yet it is not recognised as a medical condition, my doctor looked baffled when I brought this up at my last appointment asking for a referral.  The individuals who have undergone these successful therapies have had to pay for the treatment themselves and find their own, mostly alternative, therapists.  How can I and others on a low income do this when we earn less per month than the cost of one session?

Lets hope that laziness is looked at by the medical profession more broadly in the future.  Maybe it will even get it's own label.

And the results are in...

Yesterday I expressed my views and disappointments in regard to this weeks X Factor.  My main disappointment was directed at the rather bland and repetitive Frankie Cocozza and the completely talentless Nu Vibe, so it came as no surprise that these were the two acts that ended up in the bottom two last night.  I had hoped that something deep inside of these acts, some inner urge of survival would rise up and help them to perform better as they vied to remain in the competition but I was again to be disappointed.  Instead of reaching inside themselves and giving us their best, each act demonstrated fully exactly why they received the least public votes.

Frankie, who chose to sing Daniel Merriweather's Red, was so utterly toneless and monotonous in his vocals that the song was half way through before I even identified what it was he was singing.  This is not down to my lack of awareness of the song itself - it's one of my favourites.  Of course, I should have recognised it through the melody but it seems that Frankie's voice is in fact so boring that he is capable of slowing my brain down until my mind stops working properly, becoming numb as it struggles to discern anything that could be classed as music.  Mr Barlow has stated that he feels responsible for failing Frankie.  Of course you are Gary, you put him through to the live shows but don't feel too bad, no matter what songs you choose for him to perform, they will inevitably sound the same anyway.  It's his singing style you need to work on not the song choices.

Nu Vibe opted to sing a Cheryl Cole song, which I feel was prophetic as to the result of the sing off.  Again, they were sloppy, out of tune and completely lacking in a level of talent that I would expect from the live shows.  I felt like I was watching five drunk people who had never met before all trying to sing the same song at a karaoke bar.  Just dreadful.  Tulisa tearfully stated that she had no idea what wasn't working for this group she still believed in.  I think the poor girl needs her ears syringing.

I would have been perfectly happy for both of these acts to have left yesterday never to return but only one could go and in the end the worst act lost.  Bye bye Nu Vibe, please don't stay together or try to make it in the big bad world on your own.

So Frankie survives for another week.  Can Gary work wonders and get him performing better in seven days?  We shall have to see.

I was really pleased for the other contestants, especially my personal favourites; Janet, Sami, Johnny, Kitty, Craig and Sophie getting through, I'm looking forward to what they bring us next week!

On another note, the 'all acts together' song at the beginning was pretty good, but there were definitely moments where what was being seen didn't seem to match what was being heard.  Also it sounded as though effects had been applied on some of the acts voices.  Did X Factor record the song first then get them to lip sync?  If so, then the production team should really know better.  If not then the sound department needs clapping in irons and pelting with rotten fruit.

It was lovely to see the delectable Katy Perry but she must have been feeling sympathetic towards Frankie and Nu Vibe as it was, for her, quite a lack lustre performance.  I don't think she wanted to make them feel worse than they already did, because she's sweet like that.  I thought her pink hair was adorable and did you see her ears?  I've never notice before how much she resembles Princess Zelda.

Until next time.

I'm scared. This year X Factor is good!

I know it's just a clichéd, cheesy, reality TV show but X Factor is my guilty pleasure and I watch it every year.  I  acknowledge that one of the reasons I love this show is the freedom it allows me to sit at home and laugh heartily at some of the weird, wonderful and terribly untalented people that turn up at auditions.  Freeing me temporarily to pander to the darker side of my psyche, which would normally shrink away in guilt ridden horror if I laughed at people like this in real life.  Yet this aside, every year it succeeds (to my mind) in producing at least one or two individuals who have the required balance of talent, charisma and bravery to furnish them with a reasonable career.

This year is different.  Whether it's because the nation has become so groomed by these types of shows that more and more people are 'discovering' their talents or because of the change in the judges line up, I do not know.  What I do know is that this year, instead of seeing those one or two people I think might make it, I'm seeing at least six or seven and we've only had two live shows so far.

Every time I look at Kelly Rowland I think of Disney chipmunks or the rabbit from the Cadbury's Caramel adverts but despite her sickly sweetness she is doing a fantastic job as a mentor.  The girls are very strong this year and despite liking them all, Janet Devlin is my clear favourite in this category.  Before she even opens her mouth she has this wonderful aura of sweetness and honest emotion.  When she does sing, her beautiful, unique voice grabs you by the heart, changing anything she sings into an emotional, musical paradise.  Of the others, Sophie seems proficient technically and although her voice is not as unique, it is as equally as beautiful, especially when she sings those wonderfully clear high notes.  Misha, as was said on the show last night, is very polished for so early in the series.  However her voice, to me at least, is nothing special.  Not because it isn't technically spot on or powerful but because there are already so many artists out there with this type of voice, do we really need another?  I must admit though that I'm really impressed with the ways she makes the songs her own.  For me, this is her greatest talent.

The boys are not so strong this year, maybe this is because Gary's so musically talented himself he's never had to work on the showmanship side of performance like other artistes such as his band mate Robbie.  Let me start with Frankie.  There has been a lot of hype about this young lad but I can't help feeling that he's shaping up to be a one trick pony.  His voice is indeed unique but not in the least special, he makes each song he sings sound exactly the same and for me that is a far from useful talent.  This aside I'm pretty sure we'll see a lot of Frankie, at least while he's of the right age to attract the teenager girls found in every generation that can't help but love a bad boy, especially if he's a pop star.  Marcus I can take or leave although he seems to be a really nice, genuine person and I do love his voice.  I think that the judges were far too harsh about his performance last night but unfortunately, he just doesn't stand out from the crowd for me.  This leaves Craig, who is by far my favourite boy this year.  His rendering of the songs he has performed have been utterly flawless, original and a complete pleasure to listen to.  I also love his cheeky, lob sided grin.  He's a bit of a sweetheart.  However if he'd not have been knocked out at Judges houses (very bad choice Mr Barlow), Joe would have been my favourite.  That lad had a voice that gave me goose-bumps, something that's never happened in any series of X Factor before or in my thirty-four years breathing air.

Ah.  Now we come to the groups.  I was very excited this year about Tulisa getting the groups and I remained excited until last night when I suddenly plummeted down to earth realising that groups rarely make it in this show because they are just so inflexible as opposed to solo artists, leaving them unable to truly show what they are capable of.  I'm also disappointed that Tulisa appears to have switched from her innovative, fresh approach to dealing with the groups to a 'how best to make these groups commercial' stand point. Now I am well aware that this is an important issue within the music industry but new talent needs to be created and fresh sounds depend on people willing to take risks.  To be fair I do believe she is achieving this with Rythmix but sadly it is not a sound that I myself can really get to grips with as it is aimed at a much younger audience.  The ones with all the money and power - teenagers.  The other groups however are something else.  Yesterday, Nu Vibe's vocals and lack of togetherness were so awful that I actually muted the volume on my TV.  The only other times I've done this in the history of my X Factor viewing were during Same Difference and Wagner performances.  The Risk were far better.  They were together, they were technically sound and their harmonies were lovely.  So why am I still unimpressed?  Because we've heard it all before with countless boy bands in the past.  If you want to make these lads truly commercial Tulisa, give them an edge and quickly.

Now we are in really scary territory.  Usually, everything Louis touches turns a little surreal and peculiar when it comes to the X Factor.  Normally the category that find itself empathising with these qualities is the over twenty-fives and this year is no different.  What IS different is that every person in the category this year has talent (thanks for leaving when you did Goldie, it would never have worked).  Sami, obviously, has the most marketable personality and talent.  She has solid, powerful vocals that, albeit are not particularly original but have a firm grounding in sell-ability.  She also has a bright, bubbly personality which helps to earn her a place in our affections and a 'knock 'em dead' attitude.  Johnny, bless him, is totally adorable, very funny and even though he has an unconventional (to say the least) voice, I just love it!  Last night, his version of Kylie's 'I can't get you out of my head' was great, but in the wrong way.  The other judges are right Louis, you are risking turning Johnny into a freak show when he deserves the opportunity to truly show off his talent.  As I said, I loved last nights performance but because it was all round entertaining.  If this was Britains Got Talent I'd say, go for it but it's not it's a singing competition and I want to hear him sing.  Properly.  Last but by no means least we have Kitty.  I admits she is a very intense person who I would imagine face to face could actually be a little intimidating but she has one hell of a voice and last night her performance was so impressive she has made it to my list of favourites.  Do I think she or Johnny can win?  No, as Gary himself said people make this show too much of a personality contest rather than a talent competition and the majority of people watching are fickle, too afraid of what's different.

So who is my over all favourite?  At the moment, Janet but I'm voting for all six of my favourites, however people keep surprising me so who knows, it may change week by week.