It's been more than two years since I last posted anything and that's because I've been to busy to be remotely self absorbed enough.
Following my last post the geek charming and I decided we were ready for babies (both closer to 40 than we'd like time was ticking). We'd both been led to believe would be difficult for us to conceive as we'd both been in long term relationships that were unfruitful despite our partners having children from previous relationships. It took 3 whole weeks. To say we were over the moon was an understatement! We now have a gorgeous, smart and extremely funny 16 month old boy and we love him to the moon and back. We're perpetually tired but everything is still rosie.
So internet dating was a winner for us and three really is my lucky number.
Friday, 16 May 2014
Friday, 24 February 2012
Everything is so rosy it's enough to make you sick! :p
The last time I posted I had been dating my man for less than a week. Since then we have hardly been apart and have met each others friends and close family. Everything is going so, so well. We love each other with a passion that, to others, may seem to border on the obsessive but that's not the case. What has happened is we have both found in each other exactly what we want and need. We are so alike that all those little things that can cause insecurities and worries in relationships simply do not occur. I can be pretty sarcastic and pedantic which in previous relationships has caused some major issues. I also cannot stand it when people don't use the brains they were born with and I am known to correct peoples grammar for example. My geek charming is exactly the same so when we have been this way with each other, neither of us take offence because we both get it. I'm not saying we will never fall out or have a cross word because that is the nature of relationships. Whether it's a friend, relative or lover there will always be times when we cross lines or temporarily lose sight of what's important and become insensitive to those we care about. Yet when this does eventually happen, the fact that we have also become best friends will help us to talk about any given situations in a way that we haven't been able to in the past and help us to effectively deal with any difficulties without any serious impact to our relationship.
We're nearly at the two months stage now and yes, technically it is still early days for us but we feel like we've known each other forever. We've seen each other laugh, cry, be angry and drunk yet we still love each other more every day. I had started to believe that love doesn't happen like it does in the films, books and songs. Started to believe that the inspiration didn't come from experience but from a basic need that we all possess. I don't believe that any more. I have turned into a walking cliché where every love song makes sense, when every day at work is just something else stopping us being together all the time. I think about him pretty much constantly and we still count the hours until we'll together again - even though it's rarely more than a working day! One of the worst clichés of all is that we hold hands and look all gooey at each other when we're at a restaurant or out with friends. Previously I would mime being sick if I saw people like us but now I just nod because I understand.
We're nearly at the two months stage now and yes, technically it is still early days for us but we feel like we've known each other forever. We've seen each other laugh, cry, be angry and drunk yet we still love each other more every day. I had started to believe that love doesn't happen like it does in the films, books and songs. Started to believe that the inspiration didn't come from experience but from a basic need that we all possess. I don't believe that any more. I have turned into a walking cliché where every love song makes sense, when every day at work is just something else stopping us being together all the time. I think about him pretty much constantly and we still count the hours until we'll together again - even though it's rarely more than a working day! One of the worst clichés of all is that we hold hands and look all gooey at each other when we're at a restaurant or out with friends. Previously I would mime being sick if I saw people like us but now I just nod because I understand.
Thursday, 5 January 2012
Three's my lucky number!
I did say watch this space right?
Well it turns out that I started chatting online to the man who was destined to be date number three, on the same day that I wrote the last post. I had actually been emailing someone else that I suspected may be date number three but as soon as I started talking to the new guy on Thursday evening I knew that would never happen. This new guy was smart, funny, deliciously geeky and the more we talked the more we realised how much we had in common. By 1am after chatting for five or six hours I actually called him! How mad is that? Calling a complete stranger at one o'clock in the morning! Yet we had a lovely chat and made each other laugh and I decided then that I loved the sound of his voice. The next day we sent 122 messages between us, the day after that was probably the same. Add to this another 2hrs on the phone when we were both really drunk because it was new years eve and we still got on! By the time we reached our first date on Monday it didn't feel like I was meeting someone I'd never met but someone I knew and liked but hadn't seen in a really long time. The date was a resounding success and was probably one of the longest first dates on record. 9hrs. We had our second date yesterday and I can't believe how lucky I have been to meet someone who ticks all the boxes, makes me laugh and is a genuinely nice person. OK it's early days and we don't want to rush into anything but all the signs are good :)
So far that's 626 text messages, 4 hrs of phone calls, 14 hrs together and counting. I make that so far so good, next date.. Friday :D
Well it turns out that I started chatting online to the man who was destined to be date number three, on the same day that I wrote the last post. I had actually been emailing someone else that I suspected may be date number three but as soon as I started talking to the new guy on Thursday evening I knew that would never happen. This new guy was smart, funny, deliciously geeky and the more we talked the more we realised how much we had in common. By 1am after chatting for five or six hours I actually called him! How mad is that? Calling a complete stranger at one o'clock in the morning! Yet we had a lovely chat and made each other laugh and I decided then that I loved the sound of his voice. The next day we sent 122 messages between us, the day after that was probably the same. Add to this another 2hrs on the phone when we were both really drunk because it was new years eve and we still got on! By the time we reached our first date on Monday it didn't feel like I was meeting someone I'd never met but someone I knew and liked but hadn't seen in a really long time. The date was a resounding success and was probably one of the longest first dates on record. 9hrs. We had our second date yesterday and I can't believe how lucky I have been to meet someone who ticks all the boxes, makes me laugh and is a genuinely nice person. OK it's early days and we don't want to rush into anything but all the signs are good :)
So far that's 626 text messages, 4 hrs of phone calls, 14 hrs together and counting. I make that so far so good, next date.. Friday :D
Thursday, 29 December 2011
The fun and frolics of internet dating.
So, my ex was an arse as you all know and I decided that I was not going to sit around moping my life away but that I was going get myself out there and have some fun. Or at least poke my head round the door and see what fun there was to be had. So I joined a free dating website. I can hear you now, a mixture of responses; It's dangerous, They are all weirdos, My friend met her husband on one of those, I had a great time doing that. All of these statements are true but I figured if I chose wisely and then stayed sensible, everything would be OK.
So lets tackle that first statement, it's dangerous. Of course it's potentially dangerous, I know nothing about any of the people I meet on these sites but how many of us meet our partners in a club or a bar? Do we know anything about them when we're dancing away or locking lips? No. I had a friend who met a man through mutual friends, they were a wonderfully loved up and happy couple until the day they married. The day the door shut behind them on their wedding night he knocked the crap out of her because she was now his property. She had a long time to get to know him and it was still dangerous for her. As long as you choose your dates carefully (these days facebook helps because you can see their interactions with their friends before hand) and you meet in a safe place, you should be fine.
The second statement, that they are all weirdos cannot of course be 100% true because not everyone out there looking for love is broken or crazy. They are just shy or like me no longer fancy meeting someone in a bar or club when they are ten sheets to the wind and can't walk straight. Again, it's the correct choice. You can't really tell by how a person looks, especially not in a photo but if (for example) they are posing with flexed muscles you can probably guess they have ego/ vanity issues and if you don't want that, you avoid it. Get to know them a little first. I have had two dates so far. The first one I chatted to a bit via text and on the phone a couple of times before we met up and the second I texted on and off for two weeks.
The other two statements are positive and I think that most people these days know of an internet romance success story of some sort.
So my dates. The first was a guy who wasn't my type to look at and although I wouldn't have said he was unattractive, he did nothing for me. However, I am trying to look beyond types and anything shallow and he seemed nice so I gave him ago. As it was we got on OK but there was no spark for either of us so we just ended up getting drunk and having a good night out. So it may not have been a romantic success story but it was a success in the fact that I was safe, I had fun and met someone who was a gentleman. My second date was slightly different. We had been chatting and texting and I knew he wasn't looking for anything serious because he doesn't have the time to put in the required commitment needed in a relationship but I decided that it was probably about time I just had some fun and stopped looking so hard for love. He was also another really lovely guy but to cut a long story short we both decided we couldn't do the casual thing and he wasn't interested in anything else. For me, I may have thought he was extremely handsome but we didn't have anywhere near enough in common for anything serious.
So have I been put off? Not so far. I may not have met Mr Right yet but I've been shown that there are still some decent guys left out there and that in itself is a huge step forward. Maybe date number three (watch this space) will be more successful. It's my lucky number after all.
So lets tackle that first statement, it's dangerous. Of course it's potentially dangerous, I know nothing about any of the people I meet on these sites but how many of us meet our partners in a club or a bar? Do we know anything about them when we're dancing away or locking lips? No. I had a friend who met a man through mutual friends, they were a wonderfully loved up and happy couple until the day they married. The day the door shut behind them on their wedding night he knocked the crap out of her because she was now his property. She had a long time to get to know him and it was still dangerous for her. As long as you choose your dates carefully (these days facebook helps because you can see their interactions with their friends before hand) and you meet in a safe place, you should be fine.
The second statement, that they are all weirdos cannot of course be 100% true because not everyone out there looking for love is broken or crazy. They are just shy or like me no longer fancy meeting someone in a bar or club when they are ten sheets to the wind and can't walk straight. Again, it's the correct choice. You can't really tell by how a person looks, especially not in a photo but if (for example) they are posing with flexed muscles you can probably guess they have ego/ vanity issues and if you don't want that, you avoid it. Get to know them a little first. I have had two dates so far. The first one I chatted to a bit via text and on the phone a couple of times before we met up and the second I texted on and off for two weeks.
The other two statements are positive and I think that most people these days know of an internet romance success story of some sort.
So my dates. The first was a guy who wasn't my type to look at and although I wouldn't have said he was unattractive, he did nothing for me. However, I am trying to look beyond types and anything shallow and he seemed nice so I gave him ago. As it was we got on OK but there was no spark for either of us so we just ended up getting drunk and having a good night out. So it may not have been a romantic success story but it was a success in the fact that I was safe, I had fun and met someone who was a gentleman. My second date was slightly different. We had been chatting and texting and I knew he wasn't looking for anything serious because he doesn't have the time to put in the required commitment needed in a relationship but I decided that it was probably about time I just had some fun and stopped looking so hard for love. He was also another really lovely guy but to cut a long story short we both decided we couldn't do the casual thing and he wasn't interested in anything else. For me, I may have thought he was extremely handsome but we didn't have anywhere near enough in common for anything serious.
So have I been put off? Not so far. I may not have met Mr Right yet but I've been shown that there are still some decent guys left out there and that in itself is a huge step forward. Maybe date number three (watch this space) will be more successful. It's my lucky number after all.
Saturday, 3 December 2011
Finding good friends in unexpected places
We all have good friends. Some we met at school or at college and still hold them dear. Others we've met through our work or acquaintances, but sometimes we find and connect with someone in the most unlikely places or in unusual circumstances.
I have found someone that I'm proud to class as one of my best friends in a unexpected place and they are one of the most caring, supportive and wonderful people I have ever had the pleasure to know, yet I've never met them. You see, I found this friend on Twitter. Now there are a few others on Twitter that I would also class as friends; Fun, smart and witty people who have also been supportive but this particular, great friend is something else entirely. They have been with me (at least in spirit and lots of messages) every step of the way in my recent stress and heartbreak. This lovely person (like many of my Tweeps) lives in a different time-zone, so they were also able to support me when I was breaking my heart at 4am, when otherwise I'd have been left alone with my thoughts and my pain. They were completely selfless, giving up time for me when they should really have been doing something else and they didn't once complain. That is a true friend and I feel lucky, honoured even, to have found them.
This is my way of saying thank you. You know who you are x
Monday, 28 November 2011
Damn, it's been a while
So it's been quite a while since I posted anything. However, as much as I love to share my views with the general public in the cyber world, I haven't been well. As you've read in a previous post, I suffer with my nerves and stress. When it got so bad that my employers suggested that I take some time off, I did. I went back on my medication and started to get myself together. During this time my other half decided he would go out one night and fuck some young thing in our car. Let's just say that he isn't my other half any more and this time there will be no change of heart. I've moved out, back into the warm and healing environment of my family.
I've summed this up because I don't want to dwell on the crap of recent weeks. I don't really want to go back over it so why the hell would you? I just wanted to let you know that I'm back.
I wont be continuing with my X Factor blog, simply because all my high hopes for the show this year have fallen through. There no longer remains a single act in the show that I've supported from the start but that aside, the mimed 'live' group performances, the fake animosity of the judges and the general lack of energy of the show, means that I no-longer want to waste my time on it.
I have no idea what I will write about. Probably my growing sexual frustration, the scary situation of being back on the market but without a doubt, how the support of good friends and family can see you through a hard time.
I've summed this up because I don't want to dwell on the crap of recent weeks. I don't really want to go back over it so why the hell would you? I just wanted to let you know that I'm back.
I wont be continuing with my X Factor blog, simply because all my high hopes for the show this year have fallen through. There no longer remains a single act in the show that I've supported from the start but that aside, the mimed 'live' group performances, the fake animosity of the judges and the general lack of energy of the show, means that I no-longer want to waste my time on it.
I have no idea what I will write about. Probably my growing sexual frustration, the scary situation of being back on the market but without a doubt, how the support of good friends and family can see you through a hard time.
Sunday, 6 November 2011
It's time to boogie on down
NB This has not been proof read or spell checked. Wanted it out there before the results started. I'll tidy it up another time.
Hey there X Factor fans! This week brought us another exciting instalment of performances and arguments. Before I get down to dissecting the acts and voicing my opinion I just wanted to say that I don't read the newspaper or watch the news so this is why I don't comment on any of these things. I am interested in the competition alone.
This week was Dance Floor Classics night and the first thing I noticed is that in this genre I didn't know a lot of the songs, so if I've got them wrong please let me know and I shall correct them. It is also a double elimination week so the pressure really is on ,especially as Dermot said, this was a ballad free zone which left several of our contestants firmly out of the comfort zone.
It looks like Dermot's little routine with the ladies is becoming a regular feature and I like that very much. Dermot O'Leary is probably the most huggable man on TV and I've often wanted to audition just so I can get one!
It was good to have the normal judges back, though I have to say either money buys really amazing health care or Kelly was not as ill as she made out. I loved the way that Mr B made a snide little dot.com comment that indicated he had been less than happy having Alexandra as a temporary judge last week. It was also good to have them squabbling again, especially Louis and Mr B. Absolutely hilarious! I know it's all put on but that's what makes it so funny.. a bit like American wrestling!
The Girls
This week Janet took control of her song choice and the way her performance was to play out but all in all I don't think it paid off. Don't get me wrong, Janet was as precise as ever and I really enjoyed it but the song she chose; Jackson Fives 'I want you back' just wasn't her. I LOVE ballad Janet, sweet and hauntingly beautiful Janet. Upbeat, and prancing around like Hannah Montana is not for me! At least Tulisa and Mr B have realised the 'predictability' of Janet is what makes her great.
Kelly said that the B in Misha B stands for serious business. I have to say that of all the contestants in the years competition Misha is one I had no doubts about meaning business! This week she covered a Tina Turner track 'Rolling on the river'. It was only a matter of time really before a Tina Turner song found it's way into her repitioire! Personally this song just doesn't do it for me but as always Misha's performance was flawless. I have to say I loved her more dressed down look this week, her hair was gorgeous. Can we have more of the softer Misha please?
The Groups
The Risk were great this week, they are finally back on the map so to speak. This was echoed by the judges comments as well. For the first week running they started off strong and stayed that way until the end and Derry's rap was good too. I'm not sure if Mr B is right about Charlie being the lead singer or not. It's still early and it could just be that he's the first to become confident with his performances. They looked good, they performed well on solo vocals as well as their harmonies. The new line up is certainly paying off! It certainly made me giggle when Kelly said they had to surpass all other boy bands while she was sat next to Mr B.
Little Mix
After their utterly amazing performance last week I was disappointed that they've gone back to their previous standard and style. As before, I don't think it's bad, I just don't feel it myself even though the audience and judges clearly did. I'm afraid they hit it perfectly for me on Halloween week and I now know they CAN do it. 'Please Don't Stop The Music' by Rihanna was still a technically good performance, although they managed to sound out of tune with the music it at the beginning without sounding out of tune with themselves.
The Over 25's
Oh Johnny, I love you! Seriously, this guy makes me smile so much I think my face might break. He is becoming more and more comfortable every week and Louis is right, he deserves to believe in yourself. Although I thought that this weeks song choices; 'Hung up' by Madonna and 'You Spin me round (like a record) by Dead or Alive did, yet again, narrow his range and not do him full justice I don't believe Mr B needed to be quite so serious. Gary it's DANCE music, you can't take dance music seriously! It's for getting drunk and dancing too. The most it's supposed to inspire is silliness, a little fooling around and maybe some romance.
It wasn't her the most polished that I've seen her but as ever Kitty's performance didn't fail to satisfy. I love the song choice because it is a great song and Kitty did it justice. Madonna's 'Like a Prayer' You could see her influence on the other aspects of the performance too, she seems to able to take Louis's somewhat cheesy ideas and turn them into show stoppers! Tulisa is right in saying she'd be able to perform concerts well. I don't think Kitty held back in this performance. What I think is more likely is that, as Mr B pointed out she isn't the greatest dancer, so she was dividing her focus too much. Still one of my faves.
All that is left is The Boys
Let's get it out of the way shall we? Frankie was singing 'Tonight's Gonna Be a Good Night'. Oh Frankie. He was out of tune, he was completely lacklustre and bland. The lad was back to his run of the mill (these songs all sound the same) self and this week the judges didn't hold back. Louis was the rudest telling he'd never be a rock star and that the only thing big about him was his hair. Ouch! This set off much bickering amongst the judges that entertained me far more than Frankies performance had. Despite disagreeing with Louis Mr B did apologise, saying that he had made a mistake with the song choice. Hang on, isn't that the closest a judge can get to say 'you were rubbish'?
Marcus, ah how you are growing! This weeks song 'Reet Petite' by Jackie Wilson was a brilliant. He suited the music in every way. Vocals were spot on and check out his moves, all in all he performed really well! Mr B said this was the greatest performance so far in the season, I'm not sure about that but he was very good. Nice to see him be more relaxed. It improves his game no end and impressed the judges in the long run.
Well Craig showed last night that he is truly flexible and can perform to the same high standard even when he is given a song that is miles away from what is his normal style. It was a good song choice 'Heaven' and I liked that it still had some slow sections that allowed him to play to his strengths. His vocals were energetic and engaging which what this song needed. Great stuff. The judges sang his praises and the crowd were just delighted with him. Keep doing what your doing!
Over all it was a little up and down for me but still great. Who do I predict will be in the bottom two? To be honest I can't call it. I'd like Frankie to be there of course but I have no way the dice will fall tonight.
Hey there X Factor fans! This week brought us another exciting instalment of performances and arguments. Before I get down to dissecting the acts and voicing my opinion I just wanted to say that I don't read the newspaper or watch the news so this is why I don't comment on any of these things. I am interested in the competition alone.
This week was Dance Floor Classics night and the first thing I noticed is that in this genre I didn't know a lot of the songs, so if I've got them wrong please let me know and I shall correct them. It is also a double elimination week so the pressure really is on ,especially as Dermot said, this was a ballad free zone which left several of our contestants firmly out of the comfort zone.
It looks like Dermot's little routine with the ladies is becoming a regular feature and I like that very much. Dermot O'Leary is probably the most huggable man on TV and I've often wanted to audition just so I can get one!
It was good to have the normal judges back, though I have to say either money buys really amazing health care or Kelly was not as ill as she made out. I loved the way that Mr B made a snide little dot.com comment that indicated he had been less than happy having Alexandra as a temporary judge last week. It was also good to have them squabbling again, especially Louis and Mr B. Absolutely hilarious! I know it's all put on but that's what makes it so funny.. a bit like American wrestling!
The Girls
This week Janet took control of her song choice and the way her performance was to play out but all in all I don't think it paid off. Don't get me wrong, Janet was as precise as ever and I really enjoyed it but the song she chose; Jackson Fives 'I want you back' just wasn't her. I LOVE ballad Janet, sweet and hauntingly beautiful Janet. Upbeat, and prancing around like Hannah Montana is not for me! At least Tulisa and Mr B have realised the 'predictability' of Janet is what makes her great.
Kelly said that the B in Misha B stands for serious business. I have to say that of all the contestants in the years competition Misha is one I had no doubts about meaning business! This week she covered a Tina Turner track 'Rolling on the river'. It was only a matter of time really before a Tina Turner song found it's way into her repitioire! Personally this song just doesn't do it for me but as always Misha's performance was flawless. I have to say I loved her more dressed down look this week, her hair was gorgeous. Can we have more of the softer Misha please?
The Groups
The Risk were great this week, they are finally back on the map so to speak. This was echoed by the judges comments as well. For the first week running they started off strong and stayed that way until the end and Derry's rap was good too. I'm not sure if Mr B is right about Charlie being the lead singer or not. It's still early and it could just be that he's the first to become confident with his performances. They looked good, they performed well on solo vocals as well as their harmonies. The new line up is certainly paying off! It certainly made me giggle when Kelly said they had to surpass all other boy bands while she was sat next to Mr B.
Little Mix
After their utterly amazing performance last week I was disappointed that they've gone back to their previous standard and style. As before, I don't think it's bad, I just don't feel it myself even though the audience and judges clearly did. I'm afraid they hit it perfectly for me on Halloween week and I now know they CAN do it. 'Please Don't Stop The Music' by Rihanna was still a technically good performance, although they managed to sound out of tune with the music it at the beginning without sounding out of tune with themselves.
The Over 25's
Oh Johnny, I love you! Seriously, this guy makes me smile so much I think my face might break. He is becoming more and more comfortable every week and Louis is right, he deserves to believe in yourself. Although I thought that this weeks song choices; 'Hung up' by Madonna and 'You Spin me round (like a record) by Dead or Alive did, yet again, narrow his range and not do him full justice I don't believe Mr B needed to be quite so serious. Gary it's DANCE music, you can't take dance music seriously! It's for getting drunk and dancing too. The most it's supposed to inspire is silliness, a little fooling around and maybe some romance.
It wasn't her the most polished that I've seen her but as ever Kitty's performance didn't fail to satisfy. I love the song choice because it is a great song and Kitty did it justice. Madonna's 'Like a Prayer' You could see her influence on the other aspects of the performance too, she seems to able to take Louis's somewhat cheesy ideas and turn them into show stoppers! Tulisa is right in saying she'd be able to perform concerts well. I don't think Kitty held back in this performance. What I think is more likely is that, as Mr B pointed out she isn't the greatest dancer, so she was dividing her focus too much. Still one of my faves.
All that is left is The Boys
Let's get it out of the way shall we? Frankie was singing 'Tonight's Gonna Be a Good Night'. Oh Frankie. He was out of tune, he was completely lacklustre and bland. The lad was back to his run of the mill (these songs all sound the same) self and this week the judges didn't hold back. Louis was the rudest telling he'd never be a rock star and that the only thing big about him was his hair. Ouch! This set off much bickering amongst the judges that entertained me far more than Frankies performance had. Despite disagreeing with Louis Mr B did apologise, saying that he had made a mistake with the song choice. Hang on, isn't that the closest a judge can get to say 'you were rubbish'?
Marcus, ah how you are growing! This weeks song 'Reet Petite' by Jackie Wilson was a brilliant. He suited the music in every way. Vocals were spot on and check out his moves, all in all he performed really well! Mr B said this was the greatest performance so far in the season, I'm not sure about that but he was very good. Nice to see him be more relaxed. It improves his game no end and impressed the judges in the long run.
Well Craig showed last night that he is truly flexible and can perform to the same high standard even when he is given a song that is miles away from what is his normal style. It was a good song choice 'Heaven' and I liked that it still had some slow sections that allowed him to play to his strengths. His vocals were energetic and engaging which what this song needed. Great stuff. The judges sang his praises and the crowd were just delighted with him. Keep doing what your doing!
Over all it was a little up and down for me but still great. Who do I predict will be in the bottom two? To be honest I can't call it. I'd like Frankie to be there of course but I have no way the dice will fall tonight.
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